Title: Just Always
Length: One shot
Pairing: Kihae, !ninja Kyuwook
Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut
Summary: They lived, they loved and it was hard as ever. Donghae was struggling to be there and it took a very understanding leader, a smart-ass magnae and endless shots of toxic substances to make it all happen
A/N: Almost 2 years of not writing anything Kihae….I came up with this fic because it’s Kibum’s birthday…I might not have made it on time…nonetheless…better later than never? Hehehehe..Enjoy reading!
For all Kihae fans,(especially penipenpenpenipenpen) out there…I refuse to believe that this ship is dead…the world needs more Kihae…because they’re just different. Only Kihae fans will understand J
“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else right now Hyung?” Kyuhyun muttered beside Donghae as he sat beside him in one of the stools on the bar. Donghae swirled his glass, staring at the ice doing small revolutions around the bitter liquid inside. He heard the soft tinkling of it against the glass and his face broke into a sad smile, taking a swig of his drink.
“I take that as a heavy yes..” Kyuhyun smirked and he looked at Donghae with pity. It’s not really right to make a member quit because of being gay…and it’s just totally unfair that they made Kibum quit and let Donghae stay. It’s just cruel. Sure enough they totally compromised the group’s reputation when a reporter caught them making out inside a hotel’s parking lot.
They were really in big trouble considering the amount of money SM had to shell
out to shush that asshole reporter.
For some weird reason that all of them cannot comprehend, SM asked Kibum to leave but not Donghae. They fathomed that Super Junior needs Donghae more. Management told them that they won’t tolerate this kind of behavior.Donghae wanted to leave too but management won’t let him telling him that it would be a breach in his contract. They told him they would sue him if he left. It was really chaotic back then, but it all ended up with Kibum
leaving and Donghae staying with a heavy heart and sad eyes everday…off cam of course.
“I can’t leave…you know I can’t…you know they won’t let us meet. “ Donghae huffed. Kyuhyun understood. Donghae and Kibum being caught again together will mean that SM will totally drop Kibum. Donghae just didn’t
want that to happen. At least they would still be able to see each other sometimes during those SM parties. Just to see each other, it was enough for Donghae. It’s been a year that they had settled for phonecalls, text messages
and Skype sessions. It was really not that easy. They were successful in sneaking out Kibum to Italy but totally making sure that he won’t have pictures with them.
Now that’s bullshit…right?
Kyuhyun can totally read the laments running through Donghae’s mind by just watching him take small sips of his liquor.
“Trust me hyung…I know the feeling” Kyuhyun muttered. Donghae gave him a bitter smile and he watched Kyuhyun nod at Ryeowook from across the room. Ryeowook sneaked a wink and Donghae wanted to laugh out whenhe saw Kyuhyun blush.
“Young love…you don’t know what kind of monsters you’d be facing…enjoy the moment kids…” Donghae
mused inside his mind.
“Is he the only road block we have tonight?” Kyuhyun asked thoughtfully. Donghae nodded.
“I’ll take care of this. Use my car” Kyuhyun threw the keys at Donghae after asking the bartender to concoct the most potent drink they have. He grabbed the glass and he offered it to his manager while talking to Heechul.
Donghae thought Kyuhyun was a brilliant kid indeed.
After a couple of hours, Kyuhyun was able to turn their manager into a drunken heap of a human being in one of the couches.
Donghae figured he just won’t go wasting Kyuhyun’s efforts. He took his jacket and wore the hood over his head. As he was about to go out the door, he heard the voice he didn’t want to hear the most in times like
“Donghae…” He turned to look and he saw Leeteuk’s face with an expression he can’t decipher. He knew for sure where he was going. He didn’t see any trace of anger in the leader’s face. He just looked tired…tired of everything Super Junior has been through, with him as the middle man always. His hyung’s just 30 but he knew that after all they’ve been through, his mind might be as matured as a 50 year old man.
“Hyung….I…I…” Donghae stuttered, struggling to say that he’d just be going to the convenience store
to grab something.
“No need to struggle with lies Hae…we know you’re really not good in that aspect..” Leeteuk smiled showing the dimple on his cheek.
Guilt ultimately crept inside Donghae’s veins. Leeteuk seeing him leave tonight and not stopping him,
automatically makes him an accomplice, even worse compared to Kyuhyun. If he’s caught then, Leeteuk will
be going down with him.
“I’m sorry Hyung..I won’t leave if you tell me not to…” Donghae avoided Leeteuk’s eyes. He then felt the leader hug him tight.
“Just…just don’t get caught..be extremely careful Hae…and…don’t forget to greet him for me. Make him happy. It has always been just you who can make him smile.” Leeteuk released him afterwards. He watched Donghae run to the parking lot in search of Kyuhyun’s car.
He arrived soon in a high rise condominium somewhere in Seoul and before he went inside the underground parking he spotted a 24 hour coffee shop nearby. He parked the car and went outside the building and crossed
the street to the said coffee shop. He wore his sunglasses before entering inside with his hoodie still over his head.
“Can I have that cake to go please?” He was very much thankful that the cashier was a guy. It slimmed down the chance of him being recognized as compared if it was a girl or worse a fangirl. He watched the manwrap the box with a ribbon and each minute his heart beat was getting faster.
It was the natural course of heartbeats if one’s somewhere and he wasn’t supposed to be there.
Donghae turned around and was startled a bit to see Kibum lined up behind him. With Kibum’s equally shocked expression, he knew he recognized him. Kibum immediately switched to poker face. Donghae went out the
door with his cake, feeling his phone inside his pocket.
Donghae waited for a few minutes and his phone vibrated.
“PABO!!!! PABO!!! Wait for my call…go down at 11th floor..stay at blind spots. You knowthis building has lots of CCTV.”
Donghae smiled at the screen. His heart was doing crazy flips that finally after 6 months he will see Kibum…he will finally see his Kibum.
The call finally arrived and Donghae used the stairs to go up one floor. He typed the password to Kibum’s apartment, with much ease, each number imprinted like the spelling of his own name in his mind.
The door opened and he was immediately pulled inside by a hand that he knew very well. The stupid cake was grabbed from him and was placed on the nearest flat surface and he felt his back slammed in the nearest
wall. Strong hands cupping his cheeks and over-eager lips devouring his own, he already has a tongue inside his mouth, tasting every part of it and that tongue was not even his. He responded with equal arduous flicks of his own tongue. So apparently, this is the result of not being able to kiss each other for six
He felt his jacket and the tank top underneath it were already pulled up and he heard they’re not so gentle flight to the floor. He raked his fingers against Kibum’s already naked back and the other set were tugging fiercely on
the other’s hair. He can’t remember when did the shirt came off or if it was never there in the first place.
Kibum gasped for air in a split second and his mouth came crashing again on Donghae’s neck, ravishing each of those pulsating veins with his tongue.
“Pabo…pabo..pabo…”He was whispering with each tongue flick but his words were falling on deaf
ears because Donghae was already figuring out how to unbuckle Kibum’s belt.
The said belt was soon discarded as well as Kibum’s pants. He kissed his chest while working his hand against the growing bulge beneath Kibum’s boxers.Donghae tugged him and soon Kibum’s back met the wall.Donghae went down, running his tongue along Kibum’s love trail and his knees ending with a soft thud on the floor. Kibum felt the cool air against his cock when Donghae hooked his fingers around the edge of his boxers, pulling it down.
Soon, the cold air was replaced by those familiar hands and a wet tongue around the head.
Donghae just knew…and he will never unlearn it on how to make Kibum moan and tug his hair in a way that pleasure and pain’s just separated by a faint thin line. He bobbed his head hungrily, mouthing Kibum’s
hard and huge erection wholly till he gagged a bit. Kibum pulled him up, taking his mouth with his and dragging him to bed.
Kibum hovered over the other, with Donghae’s teeth tugging his lower lip. He remembered those times
that he was just all skin and bones, always whimpering mess under a dominant Kibum. Donghae realized times have changed and maybe it would be more fun if he put his newly acquired muscles into good use. He tried to stand up and for the 2nd time that night, he tugged Kibum, exchanging their places. He was on top of him now, making those hypnotic body waves, making Kibum lose coherence as his bare cock grazed the other’s clothed one.
Donghae’s held the base of Kibum’s cock around his fingers, pumping them slowly as he climbed down Kibum’s body, leavinga wet trail from his clavicle down to his navel. Kibum felt Donghae’s wet mouth around his cock
again and he was feeling the pleasure mounting his veins as the other diligently sucked and licked the sensitive head. He opened his legs more granting access to Donghae, who was licking like there’s no tomorrow, 6 months of deprivation becoming much evident.
“Donghae..ugh…” He was spewing curses in between pants of Donghae’s name and his back arched a few inches off the bed when he came.
Donghae has this habit of swallowing everything and today was not an exception. Kibum tried to catch his breath, as he opened his eyes from his high and everything around him was still hazy. He felt Donghae sucking
the skin of his inner thighs.
He soon climbed on top of KIbum, locking their lips again in a frenzied kiss and Kibum felt blood was starting to surge again down south. It was now his turn to switch their places and in a second, Donghae was
already underneath him.
“I missed you…I miss you so much.” He lead the smaller one’s body and Donghae was now lying on his belly. Kibum kissed his jaw, his nape, with his tongue tracing the edge of his hairline and then proceeding to bite the other’s shoulder blade hard, leaving teeth marks
He wanted to tell the whole world that Donghae was his…still his, and nothing will ever change that.
Donghae growled at the painful bite but Kibum just soothed those bite marks with his tongue. He pulled the hem of Donghae’s boxers down to his knees, and those well shaped ass he missed so much was exposed in front of his face. He managed to pull off the boxers totally and soon he was kneading those soft butt cheeks with his palms. He made Donghae support his weight with his knees, and Donghae’s butt was now sticking up in mid-air.
Kibum positioned himself, pulling those cheeks apart and working his tongue towards Donghae’s entrance. Donghae bit his lip as he felt that slick muscle, wandering the edge of his hole and staying there for good,
Kibum taking his time, the tip of his tongue darting the inside.
“Mff….mff…” Donghae was muffling his cries on the pillow, as Kibum continued to part his cheeks, doing that oh so amazing tongue work on his crack. He felt the muscled delve deeper, his sensitive nerves sending jolts of pleasure on his spine down to his weeping cock.
Kibum gave one last swift lap on that abused hole before his to fingers started to slowly dig inside. Donghae grasped the sheets with his knuckles in a tight fist as felt Kibum’s long fingers started to do slow
thrusts inside him. Kibum put his tongue against his entrance doing circles on the edge of his hole with the tip of his
tongue with his fingers thrusting fast inside and out.
Donghae’s mouth went dry with silent cries as he felt his mind was going to explode with too much pleasure. His prostate was being hit mercilessly by those fingers and the nerve stimulation around his hole was just
too freaking much.
Kibum just knows how to make him scream without even using his cock.
“Bummie…ugh…stop teasing…please…I want you…” Donghae was muttering helplessly as he tried to get over this delicious punishment Kibum was subjecting him to.
“What do you want ?” Kibum released his ass from all those simultaneous stimulation and he flipped Donghae on his back.
“You..Oh my God…Kibum…I want you…I so fucking want you…now!” Donghae mumbled in a deep haze.
Kibum carefully put the other legs around his waist and he led his cock to Donghae’s already prepared entrance. He slid in slowly at first making Donghae arch his back from the bed when the other’s already half way in.
He had almost forgot how his lover was. It’s been so long since he was stretched like this….this much.
Kibum moved slowly, relishing each thrust and he lowered himself down to Donghae to meet his lips. He kissed him slowly and then he kissed his eyes, his nose…his jaw...and with gentle
voice he whispered in his ear.
“You just don’t know how much I missed you…” Kibum was still thrusting and Donghae held on to him tighter upon hearing this, pulling him more with his legs, as they became one.
He met Kibum’s thrusts, rolling his own hips in sync with each grunt. Kibum can hear his name coming out of Donghae’s lips like a mantra. He can feel his own orgasm pooling on his groin, with Donghae’s heat engulfing his cock with a strong grip. He thrust faster, lifting Donghae’s legs over his shoulder and Donghae
was digging his nails around his nape.
Kibum searched for Donghae’s hard cock in between their bellies, pumping it fast and hard as he stared at Donghae’s beautiful face. Eyes closed with his mouth opened slightly in a loss of any coherent words to
Fuck he’s just so sexy looking like this.
Donghae gave out a strangled cry when Kibum finally found that spot. He kept on pounding, sending both of them in convulsive fits/ Kibum watched their slick bodies came in contact with each other in each
“Harder…please…” Donghae whimpered as he opened his mouth slightly trying to catch his breath. Kibum gave in and he fucked him harder, now that he knows Donghae can take in more than before when he was still
Donghae came in spurts, staining both of their chest and abs. He gripped the other’s hair as he rode out his orgasm, while Kibum was still thrusting into him non-stop. His legs dangling on the other’s shoulders
where starting to hurt and in serious need of re-circulation.
He tried to move his legs but Kibum held on to it tightly as he grunted and growled in his final thrusts. Donghae felt Kibum’s cum flowing in his crack and into his inner thighs. Kibum slowed down, dropping his legs and collapsing into Donghae’s chest…panting.
Both of them tried to normalize their breathing, they inhaled the musky smell of sweat and cum hovering all over the room. Kibum’s face fell when he realized that that’s all that would be left of Donghae in a few
He felt soft lips meeting his in a sweet kiss.
“What are you thinking about?” Donghae muttered after the kiss as he nestled himself over Kibum’s outstretched hand.
“I..nothing…I just think..I was doubting this is real…that you’re actually here…” Kibum answered as he brushed off those sticky strands of hair on the other’s forehead. Donghae gave him a sad look and he cupped the
other’s face with his hand. He reached in for a long and tender kiss. Kibum yielded and he felt his eyes were getting
This is such a painful time for them and no one knows when it’s going to end or if there’s really an end.
“Happy birthday…” Donghae whispered in the kiss and he hugged Kibum tightly, not wanting to let go. He can feel his bare shoulders getting wet and he knew the other was crying. He didn’t move, he can’t bear to
see the other’s eyes. He didn’t want to go away with Kibum’s teary eyes as his last memory. He knew the next one will be months and months away from today.
A few hours have passed, and Donghae can feel Kibum’s chest against his back. A strong arm was draped around his waist. He was running his fingers through that forearm, committing each and every part of Kibum to memory. He ended up entwining their fingers and he felt Kibum throwing small kisses on his nape.
“I can stay here…forever…I swear..” Donghae muttered as he felt Kibum’s tongue toying at the shell of his ear.
“I know..and I do want you to stay..you know that…” Kibum pulled him closer and he sighed at how much he missed the other’s warmth. Communication everyday was okay but being physically present was just different.
“I hate to go…” Donghae faced Kibum, dangling his legs over the other’s hip.
“I know you do…” Kibum tried to distract Donghae’s sad mood with small fleeting kisses. He stared at the clock on the wall and it’s almost 2 AM.
“But I need to go…” Donghae looked at Kibum’s eyes and he just realized he missed everything about him, not just the sex…but everything. He missed those times that someone will patiently listen to his qualms about lifein general without even complaining just one bit.
He missed Kibum, that someone whom he can spend hours and hours of comfortable silence with.
He missed that someone who can assure him all the time that every thing’s going to be okay.
He missed that assurance that all hell may break loose but Kibum’s love for him will never change.
“Hae…you’re crying…stop crying…” Kibum made him aware and was now thumbing at those tears.
“I can’t…I don’t know..I can’t figure out how to be free from this mess…I missed you..Oh God…Kibum..I miss you every freaking day…”
Donghae was now crying on his chest. As much as it’s funny from an outsider to see a full grown man like Donghae crying like a kid, it never amused Kibum. He gently patted the other’s back to make him stop and when he did, Kibum kissed his forehead.
“We can do this…we can do this alright?” KIbum cupped Donghae’s face and he traced his swollen eyes with a tip of his finger.
Donghae nodded and he kissed KIbum deeply for a few good minutes before releasing the other and finally descending the bed.
Kibum watched Donghae pick up his clothes strewn all over the floor and he watched carefully as each part of his body was covered with those garments.
How he hated every minute of it.
Donghae was fully dressed and he sat beside the other who was still lying naked on the bed. He grazed his eyes all over him and he just can’t get over the fact that he loved every part of him. He leaned over to meet his lips again, still hungry and needing, as if the few hours they spent making love was never enough
to compensate. The repercussions of this daring move to be here with Kibum were marching in his brain but he just couldn’t care.
Kibum released him and he touched the other’s lips with pad of his thumb. He will have to bear so many months before he can take these lips again.
“Let’s go…I’ll see you off…” Kibum stood up from the bed, disentangling Donghae’s arms around his waist.
“No…just stay here…I don’t want you to see me go. I just don’t want to be so sad…and I don’t want you to be so sad on your birthday.” Donghae gave him a bitter smile. Kibum nodded and he went inside the bathroom.
A few moments later, Kibum went out wearing a bath robe.
“Will you at least let me walk you to the door?” Kibum gave Donghae that sweet, sweet smile
that was only meant for him.
“Sure..” Donghae smiled back. They walked hand in hand to the door and before Donghae went out he stole another deep kiss from Kibum and then they were all over each other again.
Soon it was Donghae who pulled back and though with much
heaviness in his heart he just had to say goodbye for now.
“Bye Bummie…I’ll miss...I’ll miss you everyday.” Donghae cupped Kibum’s face with his hands as he said that.
“I know Hae..I know…and I miss you everyday too…” Kibum muttered as he kissed Donghae’s hand.
Donghae can’t hide the melancholic expression of his face as he turned around to open the door.
Kibum let him go and soon Donghae disappeared behind it.
He gave out a heavy sigh. It’s his birthday and Donghae just visited him…supposedly to make him happy but he was sadder now than earlier that evening.
He was about to head back to his bed, ready to call it a night when he heard the door of his apartment open and when he turned, Donghae was running to him, crashing their bodies in a tight hug.
“Just one last kiss…please?” Kibum laughed a little but was cut short when he felt
Donghae’s soft lips against his and a quick tongue seeking entrance. He buriedhis fingers on the back of Donghae’s hair and he held on to his waist tightly.
“I love you…I love you…I so fucking love you Kim Kibum” Donghae mumbled between each frantic kiss.
“Hey…I love you too…but …you need to go…” Kibum released Donghae and the other pouted. Kibum pinched his cheeks and he draped his arm around his shoulder as they walk again to the door
“This is the longest goodbye ever…” Donghae whispered.
“I know right? But it will just be for now…put that in my mind..okay?” Kibum grinned and Donghae agreed. At least they ended this night with a happier note.
“Call me when you’re already home…” Kibum reminded Donghae as he went out the door for the second time that night.
Kibum walked around the apartment and he noticed the neglected cake on the side table behind the door. He took and put it in the small dining table for two. He opened the box and he smiled at that one word
written in the middle.
No fancy words, no fancy messages…and no birthday candles.